Deal? Or no deal?

WITH the North Down settling down to a straight shoot out between the Conservatives and Unionist candidate Ian Parsley and the independent unionist Lady Sylvia Hermon, attention has been turned to the other constituencies.

North Antrim looks like being a straight contest between the TUV’s Jim Allister and the DUP’s Ian Paisley Jnr. But elsewhere the DUP has dangled a particularly tasty carrot to the Conservatives and Unionists.

Said Carrot is that the DUP will step aside in either South Belfast, or Fermanagh/South Tyrone, thereby all but ensuring a unionist will occupy those seats.

On the face of it a sensible ‘unionist unity’ approach: but there are a few problems, the main one being that Sir Reg Empey and his bedfellow, Conservative Leader David Cameron have said ‘no way, Jose’!

Cameron has pledged that the Tories will fight every seat in the UK.

Also, who would be the ones to pick the constituency? Would there be a panel of arbitration?

“Tell you what we’re farmers so we’ll go with the sticks”. “Nah, we’re getting a wee bit of heat from the media and South Belfast contains some housing developments…so fresh country air seems a good idea.”

The more cynical of commentators could surmise that the DUP don’t want to be anywhere near South Belfast, but lest you assume we are cynical, it is much more rational to assume that trying to embarrass the Tories and Ulster Unionists was too much of a chance to pass up.

And therein lies the rub. For all the DUP, TUV, Tory/UUP and other assorted election battles, it is never really about battling republicanism or nationalism. It really has only ever been about who has unionist bragging rights.

Shown the door

ONE has to admire the courage, tenacity and downright heroic acts of the Ulster Unionist Party.

Faced with a vote on policing and justice, the Ulster Unionist Party decided to argue on making the Executive work well, and education.

No matter the pleas of their Tory bedfellows; faced with pressure from the US administration; faced with criticism from the Secretary of State; faced with every other party and almost every other MLA voting in favour of devolution of policing and justice, the UUP resolutely stood their ground.

Except when deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness allegedly told them to ‘get out’ of his office…

Their courage must have faltered otherwise there should have been a sit-down protest, an unauthorised parade round Martin’s office and a poster campaign reminding the deputy First Minister of their Britishness.

Finally, to rub salt into their wounds the UUP were told by the last local politician that held the powers of policing and justice that they were wrong. He was, of course, the Ulster Unionist peer Lord Kilclooney.

Voting for Confidence

The four Tenors sing

'El Agreemento del HIllsborough'

THERE is an air of confidence pervading over the forthcoming vote on policing and justice. Both First and deputy First Ministers seem content that they can achieve sufficient cross-community and cross-party support to win the day.


The DUP has done the maths about whether they really need the UUP as a signifier of community confidence. And with the Tory hierarchy leaning towards the devolution of policing and justice, it seems that pressure may be brought to bear for an abstention at least.


Factor in that the SDLP are on the proverbial horns of a dilemma. They want devolution of policing and justice in principle, but can’t be seen as too close to Sinn Féin. There may again be an abstention – or a huff over not getting the job!


In other words, if it comes to a vote the DUP and Sinn Féin are pretty confident!


Party grandees may not, however, be quite as confident about the Westminster election if either side is seen as not being able to deliver!

And then there’s Sylvia…

Sylvia could stand
as an independent

LADY Hermon is playing coy about her intentions in the forthcoming election. Will she or won’t she stand as an independent unionist? From her hints this week, it seems almost certain that she will.


Which, one might have thought would cause consternation within the ranks of the Ulster Unionists and their partners, the Conservatives. But as this has been talked about endlessly with the interviews becoming all too predictable.


They usually run along the lines of:


“Sir Reg…what’s the score with Sylvia?”
“2 - 1, but that away goal counts a lot in the second leg”
“No Sir Reg, we meant Sylvia Hermon not CSK Sofia!”
“Oh, that Sylvia! Nice lady!”
“Will she be a UUP candidate”
“Doubt it”
“So you’re prepared to lose an MP, as she will certainly win.”
“So what? We’ve got Mike Nesbitt and Freddie Mercury.”
“Don’t you mean Flash Harry? Freddie is dead?”
“Close enough!”
“So no Lady Hermon in the UUP camp then?”
“Looks that way, but please remember that she can’t sing the entire Queen back catalogue and don’t you know that we in the UUP always back Queen…err I mean The Queen!”
“What about the other constituencies?”
“I’ll get back to you on that one!”

Don’t Panic!

Elections are coming

EMBLAZZONED on the cover of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and uttered by Corporal Jones in Dad’s Army, let’s all say it…Don’t Panic! After all, it’s only an election.


Yes, dust down your ear protectors because our political candidates are warming up the megaphones; ready to blast the airwaves and your sensibilities, leaving most voters to decide which shade of green or orange they want to vote for…or so it has always been.


Of course, Sir Reg wants us all to think that he and his mates in the Conservative Party are offering us access to national politics and a say in the policies of the next government of the UK, which will be orange with a hint of blue…or orange going off in the fruit basket.


And those nice yellow-coloured chappies in the Alliance Party want to remind us all that they offer a middle road, one which leads to David becoming Justice Minister. Or as one wag said…becoming complicit in the Executive’s injustice system.

Best Facebook post award goes to…

CARRICK councillor Stewart Dickson said of councillor Ian Parsley’s defection to the Conservatives: “All the night in the rain for that [expletive deleted].”

Other Alliance members have been a little more temperate in their language in public, but privately…!

Strangely Parsley seems to have disappeared off Councillor Dickson’s Facebook friends list…

The harshest cut of all

IN case you haven’t noticed, times are tight. And it looks like they are about to get tougher. The Conservative Party and Labour say there will be cuts in public spending. The Ulster Unionists and SDLP say there is hole in finances of NI plc. The DUP warns the block grant that the Treasury hands over may also be cut.

El Presidente…sorry First Minister Peter Robinson, says that this a golden chance to cut down bureaucracy.

His party’s plans to cut back on Government departments will never receive cross-community backing in the lifetime of this Assembly, which leaves him – and all in the Executive in a bit of a quandary. When, rather than if, the block grant is cut where to make the cuts?

The Review of Public Administration has already cut away some unnecessary layers of public service. Cutting or merging any more so-called quangos would at best save a couple of million pounds a year, and demands on the public purse are not likely to ease.

That leaves…front line public services. Across Northern Ireland most are already subject to three per cent cuts year on year. So what’s left? Health and social services: it’s the biggest, but as the population lives longer thanks to the doctors and nurses costs can only be cut by cutting services. And making doctors, nurses work ever harder…

Education: A rare phenomenon in western Europe here is that statistically births are increasing. This means that the planned cull of schools may be a little premature. The option open to the government here is therefore bigger class sizes and fewer teachers.

Without labouring the point the only realistic cuts in these straightened times will be among front line services.

Somehow Northern Ireland’s political classes believe that the Orange Green axis of voters will ignore all this and just keep voting them in.

But, they can perhaps make, at least a gesture towards showing that they care; a display of empathy even.

Every politician could agree to take a 10% pay cut. Equally, every public or civil servant earning more than 50k a year could take a 10% pay cut. Every politician, public or civil servant earning more than 100k could take a 20k pay cut. It wouldn’t stave off economic meltdown but it would show that they care.

The likelihood of said people ever taking such a pay cut? As likely as a resolution of the post primary school transfer mess happening before hell freezes over.

Stormy waters ahead

THE UUP/Tory match up is heading for stormy waters according to media reports.

Conservative plans to introduce more female and Roman Catholic candidates, it has been suggested, could cause dissension within the Ulster Unionist ranks.

But before putting the brakes on the idea, perhaps Ulster Unionists might consider the fact that they would be hard-pushed to do any worse no matter who they field.