Gospel according to elections: Chapter 72: verse 8

ELECTIONS are by their nature media circuses.

This time around the Westminster poll is set to have media stars of various shades setting forth to gain a coveted seat in the House of Commons.

Latest media star to enter the fray is Fearghal McKinney, latterly political correspondent of UTV and frontman for Fermanagh TV. Fearghal is hoping to snatch the Fermanagh and South Tyrone constituency.

He joins former UTV colleague Mike Nesbitt, who is entering the fray in Strangford.

Word has recently emerged that the actors union Equity may be set to challenge these nominations. Their argument is that as fully paid up actors, MPs should not be forced to work with rank amateur actors who can’t act and only work off auto-cues. They say that generations of parliamentarians have been acting as rational human beings for centuries, the last thing they need is someone who professionally questioned their rationality.

Then we have a Freddie Mercury tribute singer (‘Flash’ Harry Hamilton) and his rival for the Upper Bann seat, gospel singer David Simpson. Rather than voting, maybe there should be a sing-off between the two with Mike and Fearghal as judges, and a text vote from the public as the decider.

Simon Cowell has expressed an interest in this option. As this is a first past the post poll, it really will matter where you put your ‘X’. Bring on Northern Ireland’s first X-Factor election.

Just weeks to wait

THE Saville Inquiry’s much awaited conclusion will soon be upon us. Secretary of State, Shaun Woodward said this week that when he receives the inquiry report on 22 March, he’ll publish it within two weeks.

So, after beginning in 1998 – yes last century – the long and arduous journey will be over.

Will relatives of those dead and injured on Bloody Sunday receive closure? Who knows?

Will there finally be a definitive account of that tragic day? Who knows?

What can be said with certainty is that solicitors and barristers will be shedding a silent tear for the end of the cash cow that so many suckled upon.

And, given the timescales, the inquiry report may yet end up on the shelf. If Shaun Woodward takes two weeks to look at the report, and one factors in the Easter Break, it will be close to the time that Prime Minister Gordon Brown asks the Queen to dissolve Parliament.

That means the inquiry report will languish until new MPs take their seats. And at best, in this scenario it could be a new Government that will be faced with handling the inquiry report launch.

Should it be a hung Parliament, the wait could be even longer – one can only hope that it will see the light of day eventually!

Parade issue unresolved…

THE future of the Parades Commission has been secured for another year with the Secretary of State announcing he is to re-appoint the Commissioners.

With parading proving to be one of the DUP sticking points over the devolution of policing and justice, there’s unlikely to be any immediate joy on that front.

And with the post-primary education debacle still not set for resolution and establishment of the new Education and Skills Authority stalled, there is a collective sense of ennui over some of the moribund political issues of the day.

In other words, 2009 is ending with little big picture progress, lots of small achievements and 2010 begins with a backlog of issues for MLAs.

And with a general election looming, there is a fear that posturing will become the default position rather than seeking progress on the outstanding issues.

But until then have a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous, Happy New Year!

Stormy waters ahead

THE UUP/Tory match up is heading for stormy waters according to media reports.

Conservative plans to introduce more female and Roman Catholic candidates, it has been suggested, could cause dissension within the Ulster Unionist ranks.

But before putting the brakes on the idea, perhaps Ulster Unionists might consider the fact that they would be hard-pushed to do any worse no matter who they field.

Isn't it ironic.....

It was ironic that as the ballot papers were counted in for the election race to Europe, it was Europe that summed it all up with its iconic 80’s song ‘The final countdown’. And what a final countdown it was too, with a surreal excitement appearing as the voting slips were being sifted and tallied to give a picture on the shape of Northern Ireland politics that few could have foreseen.

European polls used to be seen as a simple sectarian headcount, with the usual two unionist candidates elected, and the SDLP’s John Hume securing the nationalist seat.

Since 2004 the SDLP seat has become almost impossible to win for the party. Sinn Féin edged the SDLP out, and now we have, what had previously been entirely unforeseen, Sinn Féin topping the poll and elected on first count. Oh, how things have changed.

That they have lost their one European seat in the Republic of Ireland – previously held by Sinn Féin deputy leader, Mary Lou MacDonald – will be quickly skirted over by the party.

The reduction of seats in the Dublin Euro constituency from four to three always made it more difficult for MacDonald to hold on. However, whatever the reasons for the loss, Sinn Fein can no longer claim to have all-island European representation.

However, the battle royale between the three Unionist candidates has been the one most closely watched by the pundits.

Even when Ian Paisley Senior stepped aside, Jim Allister – then standing as the DUP candidate – was virtually guaranteed a seat in the European Parliament. This time, the party’s candidate Diane Dodds held onto that hitherto ‘safe’ DUP seat by her fingernails.

The collapse of the DUP vote can be attributed to many factors. The party was not untouched by the MPs’ expenses scandal despite the robust defence by Peter Robinson and Gregory Campbell on the airwaves. Also, whether Dodds was the right candidate will be subjected to an in-party post-mortem discussion. Her performance on the BBC’s Politics Show was criticised by pundits and slammed on reputable websites. But, was it more a case that no-one else in the party wanted to accept the poisoned chalice of running against Jim Allister?

Allister’s TUV ran a clear and competent campaign, albeit one focussed on negativity directed entirely at the DUP. Even though he lost his seat 70,000 votes is some showing and will be a jolt to the DUP. A jolt that will have DUP strategists scratching their heads in advance of Westminster and Stormont elections.

Strategists behind the Conservative/Ulster Unionist match-up will be a little more content at the showing of Jim Nicholson. While he was 6,000 first preference votes short of Dodds total, it represents a credible first outing for a marriage that had a rocky start. Whether Nicholson has benefited from the Conservative bounce on the back of Labour’s election woes or not, it will be seen by the Cameron-ites of the UUP as justification for moving forward with the tentative alliance.

But when the dust has settled on the election results, and the pundits pore over the ramifications for future elections the fact remains that we have three MEPs.

In the new dynamic of an extended European Union, the voice of Northern Ireland can no longer be guaranteed to be heard on key debates on the economy, agriculture, structural funding and other pressing matters.

European gravy tastes much better than Westminster gravy or Assembly fudge, but it will be up to our newly elected MEPs to prove that they deserve our continued electoral support.