TO paraphrase rock band REM, it’s the end of the world as we know it and we feel fine…after all who would have thought that the devolution of policing and justice would finally be on the horizon.
With interminable breathless reports from reporters variously chilled and thrilled by yet another night at the gates of Hillsborough Castle, and tweets posted by respected journos hoping for a glimpse behind the curtains of negotiation, it was with a heavy heart of cynicism that one wondered would a ‘deal’ ever be done?
Yet, finally from the ashes of defeat the DUP grasped a flickering ember from the fire to emerge on Thursday night announcing that (without the need of Noel Edmonds cry of ‘deal or no deal’) they had reached a….well they’d reached a deal. To stretch the analogy a little further one might wonder that the ‘Banker’ a.k.a. Shaun Woodward’s threat to withdraw the multi-million pound offer had on the final decision.
Such thoughts are, of course, churlish. There is a process now laid out that will, subject to a slip between cup and lip, be in place before the Westminster election. After that, well the parties will prepare for the 2011 Assembly election; tactics to be agreed subject to May’s share of the vote.
And the Northern Ireland cheerleaders have emerged…
The two premiers have been there off and on, Gordon and Brian doing all they could, even when it seemed as if the game would be up.
But no less than El Presidente, Barack Obama has emerged from the sidelines, pom poms raised and smiling the smile of a man who can piggy back on the victory of others. Now, stop being so po-faced out there. Such behaviour is expected, nay demanded of every US President since the Boston Tea Party started the end of the whole colonial shebang.
The holiday called St Patrick’s Day will, for once not only be marked by drunken student riots, but with Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness raising a glass (Robbo will have the Orange juice…) with Obama at the Whitehouse.
Ah, sure there’ll be a few votes in the Assembly before then, but ‘begorrah’ and ‘bejaysus’ sure there’ll be no DUP or Sinn Féin MLA wanting to spoil the show, and those party whips can be vicious when needed.
Which, all seems a wee bit weird…
There’s a deal on policing and justice; there is seemingly party unity within both the DUP and SF camps….has anyone checked yet? Is the world about to end? Has Armageddon been announced? Are Peter and Martin trying to play nice before they meet their maker?
Answers on the back of an envelope… ‘Til then, all together now: ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.’
Sunday, 7 February 2010
Monday, 1 February 2010
Parading and deals
WHILE party leaders and chief negotiators have been huddled together in Hillsborough, one has to wonder whether they have been paying attention to the ‘rest of the news’.
Already the talking has caused Assembly Committee meetings to be halted, and plenary sessions of the Assembly to be sparsely attended on such issues as special educational needs of children.
And, there have been a raft of job losses and factory closures.
As the DUP and Sinn Féin posture and pontificate, could they spare the time to explain to a parent of a child with severe autism, or a skilled worker made redundant what was the point of putting Northern Ireland into political hiatus?
Parades affect a few thousand people at most over a couple of weeks in the summer when the rest of the populace heads for sunnier climes or Donegal. And any Minister of Policing and Justice will have policing powers that amount to not much more than those of the Policing Board and DPPs – where politicians of all hues already sit.
In other words, what’s the point?
Only a cynic would suggest that it’s about covering electoral posteriors.
And right now in Northern Ireland there seems to be a growing number of cynics amongst the health care workers, struggling classroom teachers, those signing on the dole and the parent wondering whether their child will ever get the service they are entitled to.
Already the talking has caused Assembly Committee meetings to be halted, and plenary sessions of the Assembly to be sparsely attended on such issues as special educational needs of children.
And, there have been a raft of job losses and factory closures.
As the DUP and Sinn Féin posture and pontificate, could they spare the time to explain to a parent of a child with severe autism, or a skilled worker made redundant what was the point of putting Northern Ireland into political hiatus?
Parades affect a few thousand people at most over a couple of weeks in the summer when the rest of the populace heads for sunnier climes or Donegal. And any Minister of Policing and Justice will have policing powers that amount to not much more than those of the Policing Board and DPPs – where politicians of all hues already sit.
In other words, what’s the point?
Only a cynic would suggest that it’s about covering electoral posteriors.
And right now in Northern Ireland there seems to be a growing number of cynics amongst the health care workers, struggling classroom teachers, those signing on the dole and the parent wondering whether their child will ever get the service they are entitled to.
Getting it together
IT would of course be nice to say that with sex scandals and alleged corruption, mainstream politics has finally reached Northern Ireland. And such was the promise when the Tories agreed to hook up with their Ulster Unionist colleagues.
No, we’re not suggesting that the Conservatives or UUP are involved in sex scandals or allegations of corruption! Rather, that the electorate in Northern Ireland have the potential opportunity to vote for representatives of a party that stands a chance of being part of a UK governing party, or at least part of Her Majesty’s Opposition.
Some local Conservatives have become irked and annoyed by the Ulster Unionist leadership of late.
With three Conservative nominees for the UCUNF candidates list in the forthcoming Westminster election tendering their resignations and reports of the UU leadership joining the DUP for a natter with the Orange Order, relations between the two parties have become increasingly strained.
Can we suggest that if UCUNF decide to elect a leader, they seek a unifying candidate? What about ‘Flash’ Harry Hamilton? He could urge the Ulster Unionists to ‘Play the Game’. And when they do, he can declare ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’.
No, we’re not suggesting that the Conservatives or UUP are involved in sex scandals or allegations of corruption! Rather, that the electorate in Northern Ireland have the potential opportunity to vote for representatives of a party that stands a chance of being part of a UK governing party, or at least part of Her Majesty’s Opposition.
Some local Conservatives have become irked and annoyed by the Ulster Unionist leadership of late.
With three Conservative nominees for the UCUNF candidates list in the forthcoming Westminster election tendering their resignations and reports of the UU leadership joining the DUP for a natter with the Orange Order, relations between the two parties have become increasingly strained.
Can we suggest that if UCUNF decide to elect a leader, they seek a unifying candidate? What about ‘Flash’ Harry Hamilton? He could urge the Ulster Unionists to ‘Play the Game’. And when they do, he can declare ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’.
Watching from the wings
LIKE a brooding presence, former MEP Jim Allister and his TUV cohorts will try to use any political deal here as a means of attacking the DUP in the upcoming general election. In a weird logic game, Jim Allister said that even if his party win no seats it won’t affect its strength as a political force.
Furthermore, Mr Allister likes to remind us that even though he lost his European Parliament seat, the TUV were the real winners in the Euro election.
You don’t need to be statistician, mathematician or political scientist to come to the conclusion is that if you don’t ‘win’ any seats, then you haven’t ‘won’ the election. Just wanted to be clear on that…
Furthermore, Mr Allister likes to remind us that even though he lost his European Parliament seat, the TUV were the real winners in the Euro election.
You don’t need to be statistician, mathematician or political scientist to come to the conclusion is that if you don’t ‘win’ any seats, then you haven’t ‘won’ the election. Just wanted to be clear on that…
The Waiting Game
ONE of the advantages of writing articles for email and internet columns is that it is not driven by deadlines. No need for an on-the-spot analysis for the 6.30 news, no need to guess outcomes before the presses roll, and no need to try to interpret mood music.
Instead, as we trundle through talks about talks on the devolution of policing and justice, one can wait to see whether the mythical ‘deal’ can be struck.
And wait. And wait. And wait.
Throughout these past several days we’ve waited.
There have been swings of optimism, there have been prime ministers, and there has been the constant presence of deal cheerleader-in-chief Shaun Woodward. There have been harbingers of sorrow and smiling faces all round; depending on the time of day, the quality of lunch… or hunger pangs through late night sessions.
When initial talks on Monday of last week collapsed with nary a deal in sight, Gordon Brown and Brian Cowen flew in like erstwhile heroes of old, (Blair and co) ready to bang some heads together, cosy up to fragile egos and try to find that perpetual sweet saviour of democracy, fudge.
After two days and nights, Gordon headed off to try and sort out an easier task, Afghanistan, and Brian to tackle the mere ticking irritation of a ruined economy.
But, with barely suppressed irritation, the premiers said sort it out in 48 hours or we’ll publish our proposals.
Come Thursday happy faces. Come Friday gloomy faces.
And we waited.
Deal – everybody’s happy? No deal the twitterers and bloggers announced.
Come Saturday we we’re still waiting.
But as snow flurries flicked the lens of waiting cameras outside Hillsborough Castle dusk brought another change of soundbite tone.
Now the DUP, through Edwin Poots were saying there had been ‘advancement’ and Sinn Féin’s Conor Murphy said he and his party colleagues were ‘optimistic.’
But the biggest sign of progress was that Shaun Woodward had moved from cheerleader to the tone of a cautious coach for a team heading inexorably towards league victory. He said there was still ‘work to be done’, as all good coaches say when their team needs to dampen down hyperbole and focus on the oft-quoted ‘task at hand’.
So, what can we expect come the start of a new week in the devolution waiting game.
The parties speak to their Assembly groupings, get a cautious thumbs up and proceed to Hillsborough for a nice meal and the final dotting of the ‘Is’ and crossing of the ‘Ts’?
A weekend of reflection makes all the parties realise that the food is quite nice in Hillsborough Castle and maybe they could string it out for another few days to sample more fine cuisine?
It all goes to hell in a hand basket again; Gordon washes his hands of the lot of them malingering MLAs and we get an Assembly election that no-one wants, needs or at very least can delay until the Westminster poll date in May?
Which, of course is an election that will be described by some as a referendum on the deal on the devolution of policing and justice, but all concerned may wish that it wasn’t.
Reading the runes from elections past and present is a risky game trying to make predictions, especially when the vast majority of the electorate, apart from the people who ring into morning talkshows, are thoroughly bored with what passes for politics here.
Instead, as we trundle through talks about talks on the devolution of policing and justice, one can wait to see whether the mythical ‘deal’ can be struck.
And wait. And wait. And wait.
Throughout these past several days we’ve waited.
There have been swings of optimism, there have been prime ministers, and there has been the constant presence of deal cheerleader-in-chief Shaun Woodward. There have been harbingers of sorrow and smiling faces all round; depending on the time of day, the quality of lunch… or hunger pangs through late night sessions.
When initial talks on Monday of last week collapsed with nary a deal in sight, Gordon Brown and Brian Cowen flew in like erstwhile heroes of old, (Blair and co) ready to bang some heads together, cosy up to fragile egos and try to find that perpetual sweet saviour of democracy, fudge.
After two days and nights, Gordon headed off to try and sort out an easier task, Afghanistan, and Brian to tackle the mere ticking irritation of a ruined economy.
But, with barely suppressed irritation, the premiers said sort it out in 48 hours or we’ll publish our proposals.
Come Thursday happy faces. Come Friday gloomy faces.
And we waited.
Deal – everybody’s happy? No deal the twitterers and bloggers announced.
Come Saturday we we’re still waiting.
But as snow flurries flicked the lens of waiting cameras outside Hillsborough Castle dusk brought another change of soundbite tone.
Now the DUP, through Edwin Poots were saying there had been ‘advancement’ and Sinn Féin’s Conor Murphy said he and his party colleagues were ‘optimistic.’
But the biggest sign of progress was that Shaun Woodward had moved from cheerleader to the tone of a cautious coach for a team heading inexorably towards league victory. He said there was still ‘work to be done’, as all good coaches say when their team needs to dampen down hyperbole and focus on the oft-quoted ‘task at hand’.
So, what can we expect come the start of a new week in the devolution waiting game.
The parties speak to their Assembly groupings, get a cautious thumbs up and proceed to Hillsborough for a nice meal and the final dotting of the ‘Is’ and crossing of the ‘Ts’?
A weekend of reflection makes all the parties realise that the food is quite nice in Hillsborough Castle and maybe they could string it out for another few days to sample more fine cuisine?
It all goes to hell in a hand basket again; Gordon washes his hands of the lot of them malingering MLAs and we get an Assembly election that no-one wants, needs or at very least can delay until the Westminster poll date in May?
Which, of course is an election that will be described by some as a referendum on the deal on the devolution of policing and justice, but all concerned may wish that it wasn’t.
Reading the runes from elections past and present is a risky game trying to make predictions, especially when the vast majority of the electorate, apart from the people who ring into morning talkshows, are thoroughly bored with what passes for politics here.
Friday, 22 January 2010
Oh for goodness sake!
SHE said, he said, he said, she said…it goes on interminably, one minute cautious optimism, the next allegations cast back and forward.
The Great Hall at Stormont echoing with breathless political punditry and the radio waves of ‘our wee country’ are filled to the brim with MLAs and party officials all keen to toe the party line.
It is, of course, the great political drama that isn’t so much a drama as a farce. Yes, the devolution of policing and justice.
The blogosphere is filled with claim and counter-claim, twitter is filled with tweets from commentators, and where exactly are we…nowhere.
Of course, by the time you read this, it all could have been resolved and mutual begrudgery will see us through to a new dawn in Northern Ireland, but don’t hold your breath.
Policing and justice will be devolved sooner or later. Whether it will take the collapse of the Assembly or a sudden outbreak of common sense amongst politicians, no-one knows. And frankly no-one outside the corridors of Stormont really cares.
For the proverbial man in the street, when he is stopped for speeding, he will care not one iota where the legislative basis for the speeding ticket lies. For the officer issuing the ticket, he will not care whether it is a Stormont Minister or an imported Secretary of State with whom power resides. He has simply to protect other motorists and collect his pay packet for doing his job.
And, come the summer there will still be parades. And there will still be protests against parades. It will be a long time before we have a happy dawn when each ‘side’ can relax and let ‘community tensions’ ease in their own sweet time, no matter what structure is in place.
But, when the MLAs gather in party groupings, or sit staring suspiciously at each other over coffee, buns spread on the negotiating table, let them also consider the PSNI officer recovering from dreadful wounds. Let them not forget the young man struggling to walk after a ‘punishment’ attack. Let them not forget the drugs being pushed on the street.
Let them not forget they have responsibility.
One fears that responsibility in politics may be a distant dream of the more idealistic political student.
One hopes that it will suddenly dawn on MLAs that their job is one of responsibility, representation and decision-making.
So, to all shades of opinion, hue of party flag, for goodness sake make a decision.
The Great Hall at Stormont echoing with breathless political punditry and the radio waves of ‘our wee country’ are filled to the brim with MLAs and party officials all keen to toe the party line.
It is, of course, the great political drama that isn’t so much a drama as a farce. Yes, the devolution of policing and justice.
The blogosphere is filled with claim and counter-claim, twitter is filled with tweets from commentators, and where exactly are we…nowhere.
Of course, by the time you read this, it all could have been resolved and mutual begrudgery will see us through to a new dawn in Northern Ireland, but don’t hold your breath.
Policing and justice will be devolved sooner or later. Whether it will take the collapse of the Assembly or a sudden outbreak of common sense amongst politicians, no-one knows. And frankly no-one outside the corridors of Stormont really cares.
For the proverbial man in the street, when he is stopped for speeding, he will care not one iota where the legislative basis for the speeding ticket lies. For the officer issuing the ticket, he will not care whether it is a Stormont Minister or an imported Secretary of State with whom power resides. He has simply to protect other motorists and collect his pay packet for doing his job.
And, come the summer there will still be parades. And there will still be protests against parades. It will be a long time before we have a happy dawn when each ‘side’ can relax and let ‘community tensions’ ease in their own sweet time, no matter what structure is in place.
But, when the MLAs gather in party groupings, or sit staring suspiciously at each other over coffee, buns spread on the negotiating table, let them also consider the PSNI officer recovering from dreadful wounds. Let them not forget the young man struggling to walk after a ‘punishment’ attack. Let them not forget the drugs being pushed on the street.
Let them not forget they have responsibility.
One fears that responsibility in politics may be a distant dream of the more idealistic political student.
One hopes that it will suddenly dawn on MLAs that their job is one of responsibility, representation and decision-making.
So, to all shades of opinion, hue of party flag, for goodness sake make a decision.
Special educational needs
ONE could be forgiven for thinking that our politicians need teaching assistants to help them get through the day without forgetting their manners, but they have highly paid spouses…sorry advisers and researchers for the Special Political Needs job.
Which makes it all the more remarkable that education was the scene of more in-fighting. Errrr, perhaps that sentence reads all wrong…we meant to say unremarkable. For one can always be sure of a couple of things in Parliament Buildings: one, that the green orange divide will crop up in policing and justice; and, two that there will be a row about education.
The Special Educational Needs and Inclusion review changes have been out to consultation forever.
The period has been extended for so long that the children it concerns will be planning leaving school and needing support in the community before the MLAs and the Department of Education agree a thing.
This latest round of ‘issues’ saw the Education Committee hear representations from various groupings on what is good and what is bad about the review.
In summary, the Education Minister and ‘experts’ from the Department believe their view is best. One half of the Education committee is dubious. Many parents and parents’ groups think the department is wrong. Remind you of another education debate?
It can only be hoped that all sides of the debate get their act together and work to support and protect this particularly vulnerable group of children.
Which makes it all the more remarkable that education was the scene of more in-fighting. Errrr, perhaps that sentence reads all wrong…we meant to say unremarkable. For one can always be sure of a couple of things in Parliament Buildings: one, that the green orange divide will crop up in policing and justice; and, two that there will be a row about education.
The Special Educational Needs and Inclusion review changes have been out to consultation forever.
The period has been extended for so long that the children it concerns will be planning leaving school and needing support in the community before the MLAs and the Department of Education agree a thing.
This latest round of ‘issues’ saw the Education Committee hear representations from various groupings on what is good and what is bad about the review.
In summary, the Education Minister and ‘experts’ from the Department believe their view is best. One half of the Education committee is dubious. Many parents and parents’ groups think the department is wrong. Remind you of another education debate?
It can only be hoped that all sides of the debate get their act together and work to support and protect this particularly vulnerable group of children.
Flags and emblems
AHH, Northern Ireland, the country that invented colour coded kerb stones to make sure the unwary traveller knew which path he strayed into, and the divided streets of cities, towns and villages could be clearly seen on Google Street View.
But, as we all know flags can be seen as a wee bit nasty by those that seek all too readily to give offence; and those who all too readily seek to take offence.
Union flags, Tricolours, Ulster flags and Starry Ploughs all flutter on summer breezes, patches of cloth that render the viewer with a wave of pride or revulsion, or just sheer boredom.
How reassuring it is to know that the Office of First Minister, deputy First Minister is working on an Inter-Agency Joint Protocol on Flags. In a written answer in the Assembly, it was revealed that there is a working group reviewing the protocol and that it met in October and November last year.
I’ll bet all those waiting for a vital operation and the children needing educational support will be delighted at this news.
But, as we all know flags can be seen as a wee bit nasty by those that seek all too readily to give offence; and those who all too readily seek to take offence.
Union flags, Tricolours, Ulster flags and Starry Ploughs all flutter on summer breezes, patches of cloth that render the viewer with a wave of pride or revulsion, or just sheer boredom.
How reassuring it is to know that the Office of First Minister, deputy First Minister is working on an Inter-Agency Joint Protocol on Flags. In a written answer in the Assembly, it was revealed that there is a working group reviewing the protocol and that it met in October and November last year.
I’ll bet all those waiting for a vital operation and the children needing educational support will be delighted at this news.
Booze-fuelled pupils
IT was with a certain amount of glee that SDLP MLA Thomas Burns announced that over the last five years 360 pupils had been expelled or excluded from school because they were boozed up.
Parents and schools should seek to instigate harsh discipline the South Antrim MLA said, and a union rowed in to say that the problem was much bigger and school bags must be searched for illicit alcohol.
In the same week, a pilot programme on self harm revealed that alcohol was a factor in two thirds of all cases of self harm.
At the risk of sounding all lily-livered and liberal, one must point out that perhaps it might be better to find out why these pupils are coming into school drunk.
Is it peer pressure? Is it bad parental examples or supervision? Is it that poor self-esteem can be boosted by swig or six of vodka? Or is it that these young people need help?
Certainly preachy, holier than thou rants from politicians and unions aren’t going to stop teenagers taking a drink. But perhaps it might be better to find out why some take it ‘too far’ and put themselves and others at risk.
Parents and schools should seek to instigate harsh discipline the South Antrim MLA said, and a union rowed in to say that the problem was much bigger and school bags must be searched for illicit alcohol.
In the same week, a pilot programme on self harm revealed that alcohol was a factor in two thirds of all cases of self harm.
At the risk of sounding all lily-livered and liberal, one must point out that perhaps it might be better to find out why these pupils are coming into school drunk.
Is it peer pressure? Is it bad parental examples or supervision? Is it that poor self-esteem can be boosted by swig or six of vodka? Or is it that these young people need help?
Certainly preachy, holier than thou rants from politicians and unions aren’t going to stop teenagers taking a drink. But perhaps it might be better to find out why some take it ‘too far’ and put themselves and others at risk.
Causeway centre ahead
AHH Finn McCool would be proud. After goodness knows how long, work is finally to start on the Giant’s Causeway Visitor Centre.
He would have helped out himself but since he is in semi-retirement and working as a consultant to planning officials he felt it was not appropriate to become involved.
In a statement he said: “I am disappointed that the Causeway I worked so hard on has not had an appropriate visitor’s centre for so long. I welcome the start of work on the centre and I reject utterly any suggestions that I lobbied for the National Trust, Moyle Council, my mate in Scotland or that wee red-haired giantess. And I especially want those creationists to leave my Causeway alone. They weren’t there when I built it so stay away and let the nice Japanese tourists take their pictures in peace!”
He would have helped out himself but since he is in semi-retirement and working as a consultant to planning officials he felt it was not appropriate to become involved.
In a statement he said: “I am disappointed that the Causeway I worked so hard on has not had an appropriate visitor’s centre for so long. I welcome the start of work on the centre and I reject utterly any suggestions that I lobbied for the National Trust, Moyle Council, my mate in Scotland or that wee red-haired giantess. And I especially want those creationists to leave my Causeway alone. They weren’t there when I built it so stay away and let the nice Japanese tourists take their pictures in peace!”
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