In the future we’ll all be nice

Wouldn't it be great if it was like this all the time?

NO matter the rows at Stormont, the rest of the population will, very soon, be nice to each other.


You see the First Minister and the deputy (joint?) First Minister have agreed on a cohesion, sharing and integration programme that will help us all shake hands across sectarian divides.


Among the planned initiatives are a welcome back from Orangefest (a.k.a. triumphalist march in July) at the Ardoyne Shops with massed ranks of bodhran players and a squad of slipper fitters for the tired feet of flute band drummers.


Also in the pipeline is an Easter Sunday address to Republicans (a.k.a. ex-terrorists/freedom fighters) by Presbyterian preachers delivering a sermon on the sanctity of rebellion and the theological basis for the Ancient Order of Hibernians.


Linfield will adopt a 50/50 player recruitment policy and The Sash will be sung at all Irish rugby international matches.


Meanwhile back in the real world…