No more secrets

PLANNING to throw a few quid to support your local political party? [Are you mad?] Well, should you really want to back one of Norn Iron’s political organisations you can no longer keep that secret.

Your friends, colleagues and the generally nosey will in the future be able to find out who has been reaching for the cheque book to back a political party.

Here laws differ from the rest of the UK. Donations must be reported to the Electoral Commission, but are kept secret from the public lest we spill the beans and a donor’s security is compromised. That law ends in October next year.

With the NIO expected to consult on proposed changes, the Electoral Commission asked some ordinary people what they thought…the result? No more secrets please.

You’re not very efficient

THE spat between the UUP and DUP over health funding rolls on, with Sammy ‘Former Economics Teacher’ Wilson telling hospitals they lagged behind England’s 12% increase in productivity.

Michael ‘Cheery’ McGimpsey said that the health service here had already achieved a 7% increase in productivity.

To the lay person – mere mortals not working in the Big House or health service management – these percentages must seem a bit daft. How can a hospital consultant be more productive? Quickie operations? How can a midwife be more productive? Hurry along with the labour there dearie!

Of course, Sammy was driving at efficiencies such as reducing management tiers.
But hasn’t the health service supposed to have made good progress in terms of the reforms required following Review of Public Administration – and all this at a time when the health service is under greater pressure than ever before.

Which, of course means that some might view Sammy’s comments as party political rather than an attempt to instill financial prudence in our health service…nah, none of our politicians would ever do that!

Eames Bradley? No thanks

WITH the Eames Bradley Report dead in the water, the DUP have kicked the last breath out of the report’s proposals, with a 12-page rejection of its findings.
This means that its more than 30 recommendations will now officially die off…but how many will be adopted by the four Victims Commissioners?

Many might be, but one thinks that the £12,000 payment to victims proposed will not be one of them.

Vampires! Garlic out Sir Reg – they’re coming for you!

WITH the hype around the latest Twilight movie, ‘New Moon’, reaching fever pitch amongst its teenage target audience, Education and Employment Minister Sir Reg Empey made what could be best described as a tactical faux pas in referring to young people as vampires who lie in bed until 3pm and stay up all night.

Not only was the comment regarded with derision, but the young people themselves have been on radio and television pointing out that the statement was clearly wrong.
Talk about getting the message wrong – unless his target audience was grumpy old men who regard everyone under 50 with suspicion…wait a minute! That would be the UUP then!

“It’s the end of the world as we know it…and I feel fine”

IT’S the end of days, it’s the start of days. Are we entering into another period of uncertainty on the future of the Assembly? Are we looking forward to the white heat of political debate before settling down to mature politics? Are we just getting totally fed up with politics?

Instalment 455 of the ongoing saga of the devolution of policing and justice was played out on the airwaves this week and in the Assembly chamber at Parliament Buildings.

One has to wonder whether the main actors really are attempting to prove they are caricatures of themselves.

Sinn Féin say get on with it or there will be ‘trouble’. DUP find more ‘conditions’ to restore “community confidence” and get tangled up on whether retention of the full-time reserve was part of building said confidence.

Rather than inviting the politicians on to their shows again, broadcasters should just replay the interviews from the week before. No-one would know the difference.

But, surely it’s time for the ‘major players’ to, in Belfast parlance, wind their necks in and get on with it.

Rather than running to Uncle Gordy once a week and playing ‘I can be more indignant than you’ on The Nolan Show, here’s an idea: lock four MLAs from each ‘side’ in a room, with no access to expenses forms, and release them when they come up with a way forward.

Big Mac back?

THE Traditional Unionist Voice held its party conference last week. And it was the legal eagles who were soaring with rhetoric. Not only was barrister and TUV leader Jim Allister regaling the gathered members on why everyone was wrong except him, but fellow whig and former UK Unionist leader Robert McCartney appeared.

His brief was to speak about the education debacle. But Big Mac couldn’t resist a commentary on the current situation.

For TUV applauding delegates it would be a good time to recall that Big Mac was meant to deliver a Mad Max style devastating blow to the political elites when he ran in every constituency of Northern Ireland once upon a time. It didn’t quite work out that way.

Lines on a map

COLOURED crayons are to be outlawed at Stormont. MLAs have been calculating just what way council boundaries are to fall, if the 26 into 11 equation on local government is to work out.

Edwin Poots, Minister for the Environment, is threatening to take away the all the parties’ crayons and coloured pencils and if they don’t stop their colouring in, there will be no Review of Public Administration savings in local government.

And, there will be a new council election next year when the General Election rolls round.

So far, RPA has delivered on reform in health and personal social services (well sort of). Plans to set up a new Education and Skills Authority have stalled with the Education Bill in limbo. And now councils may not be reformed.

C’mon guys! Let’s make it three elections in May – that way all you MLAs can stop worrying about legislation and reform and shout at each other until about September…oh, you’re already doing that! Sorry!

Jersey language joy?

FRIDAY the 13th and the 13th British Irish Council summit is taking place in Jersey. The theme is indigenous, minority and lesser used languages.

Attending are the First and deputy First Ministers a.k.a. Robbo and Marty.

Not that we are in anyway superstitious but, with stalled progress on an Irish Language Act and the dispute over whether Ulster Scots is a language or dialect, surely they are tempting fate trying to move on this ill-starred date and bad luck numbered meeting. These less than favourable indicators may mean there is progress.

This would of course be a stroke of ill fortune, if the First Minister and deputy First Minister have to explain to voters why they actually agreed on something…

No iceberg in sight

BELFAST’S claim to fame – apart from the Troubles – was a ship that sank. The Titanic went down with 1,000 souls in 1912, thereby forever making shipbuilding here synonymous with disaster, despite the Harland and Wolff being a world leader in the industry at the time.

The very name Titanic conjures up images of heroism and tragedy, hubris gone awry and selfishness and selflessness sitting in the same lifeboat.

But, with the imagery so strong the Titanic name has, as has oft been said, got global tourist potential.

That makes it all the more amazing that the saga of the SS Nomadic, the tender that brought well-heeled passengers to the doomed liner, is making, with the usual Northern Ireland zeal, a drama out of a crisis.

In short, the SS Nomadic was rescued from the sea’s version of the knacker’s yard, and brought back to Belfast, where it was originally built.

It has languished ever since, with funding rows and the potential for a tourism bonanza in 2012 – the anniversary of the iceberg incident – and a bill of £7m being touted to refurbish the Nomadic.

The £7m bill to taxpayers may seem a little steep, but would it be better to get it done rather than this constant uncertainty. In other words, let the Executive do something that will cost a bit, but have benefits for all.

Harmony ends at NIMIC

THE Northern Ireland Music Industry Commission board has broken up in disharmony. Whether anyone will really notice remains to be seen, but it is an example of good work gone awry.

Set-up in 2001, the Commission managed to showcase some local acts at high-profile events such as festivals in Texas and Northern Ireland music nights in London.

But, in its eight years did it propel any local acts to global recognition? Did the Arts Council and Invest NI involvement actually get the world rocking to the ‘Norn Iron’ beat? Or more to the point, did Terri Hooley achieve more for local music in a few short years in the late 70s? In other words is a motivated individual better than a board or commission?

The Undertones, Stiff Little Fingers, Van Morrison, Snow Patrol, Ash are names recognised throughout the UK and in some cases globally. So, exactly how did a Commission help these talented acts? And, how did Invest NI hope to measure ‘job creation’ through music? Sound engineers, lighting experts yes, but the distorted guitar lines and thrashing of drums are not easily reflected on a spreadsheet.

What we can’t wait for is the Public Accounts Committee investigation with evidence direct from the mosh pit!