According to my script...

THERE are times when our esteemed political figures in the Northern Ireland Assembly bat around clichés and trot out party lines that it all becomes a wee bit embarrassing for even the most jaded political hack.

Perhaps they would benefit from the advice of Red Ed Milliband’s advisors who suggested that in Prime Minister’s Question Time there should be “cheer lines” for points made.

But then take a serious look around the Assembly chamber when in session: apart from the occasional rant-a-long around budgets there aren’t enough members on the benches to even raise a cheer, let alone a celebratory Mexican wave at having collected another week’s wages.

Milliband’s advisers could have had slightly red faces when their advice was leaked, but such is the chaos of PMQ’s that Ed managed to crack off enough attacks that the BBC led several news bulletins with his jibes on housing benefit.

The collective witticisms in the Assembly on the other hand this week were left to Sammy Wilson, who obviously remembers his days as a teacher in trying to calm down unruly classes.

And let’s face the unsavoury fact here, at the best of times our MLAs are glum looking lot; as the UUP fortunes have declined in recent years it seems that the rest of the parties have taken on the mantle of dour bunch of so-and-so’s. The future isn’t exactly bright, but as Monty Python advised us all, we can always look on the bright side of life.