Crisis? What crisis?

THE ever more Monty Pythonesque ramblings of the political classes on the issue of policing and justice has moved towards what could be real rumbles of crisis – mutterings of elections and rumours of war on the stump.

And to add to the confusion, MLAs have been asked to name who they would want as our Justice Minister.

To summarise: Sinn Féin wants the devolution of policing and justice as a wee Christmas present. The DUP are saying ‘no way’ - policing and justice isn’t just for Christmas. They want greater community confidence and the Parade’s Commission emasculated, or something like that.

Meanwhile, the various spokespeople from both parties have been contributing to global warming – thanks to the amount of hot air they’ve been generating on the airwaves. Once in a while the other political parties manage to get a word in edgeways too!

So we are left with the deputy First Minister saying power-sharing is unsustainable and saying that a ‘full-blown crisis’ is on the way if a deal isn’t sorted.

Cheerful chappy Secretary of State Shaun Woodward threw his hat into the ring by saying that all was well, the Justice Bill was en route to Royal Assent and that in coming weeks it would all work out.

Here’s a cunning plan that will save the DUP blushes and get Sinn Féin out of its pre-Christmas bind…Announce the devolution on Christmas Eve at about 11pm, both parties take no phone calls until well into January and on about the 15th or 16th say that Jim Allister is to be the new Parade’s Commissioner.