Walk this way

WALK this way for the podcast that can’t be broadcast…also known under the title ‘Only in Norn Iron!’

The story so far…tourists like to see sites of notoriety no matter where they go in the world. Green hills and sweeping valleys are nice, but they want to see sites of former strife and bloodshed. It’s a human condition.

So, here in Norn Iron, we have a few (few too many) ‘peace walls’. Now, that is in itself a stupid name. The peace walls are put up to in interface areas to stop residents rampaging through their neighbours’ estates.

To help explain this concept to tourists it was decided to commission a podcast that would guide tourists through the bewildering complexities of the divided lands of west Belfast.

More than £100,000 (yes you read that right!) was allocated to produce said podcast. But, before the podcast could go ahead politicians rolled in. Arlene Foster, DUP Enterprise, Trade and Investment Minister refused to sign off the script, saying it was too one-sided. Sinn Féin, in turn said she was wasting the six figure sum allocated to the project.

Only in Norn Iron could someone get their knickers in a knot about a project that is as wasteful as it is stupid.

Here’s a suggestion. Rather than wait for the sign-off on the six-figure sum, here’s a simple plan.
Buy a podcast suitable microphone. It should cost about twenty or thirty quid on the web. Learn how to work the PC for something other than issuing invective about the ‘other side’. Record your own version of our recent history (never mind accuracy or balance).

At this point you may have noted that you need a PC. Speak to your local political representative. Taxpayers will have paid for their PC so they may be able to help.

Now, head off to a site such as iTunes. For free (i.e. no grant aid needed) you can post your podcast. Tourists can now download your interpretation of history to listen to on their MP3 players (you have heard of MP3 players?) as they walk around the graffiti laden walls.

There, for about thirty quid and a wee bit of patience you have your podcast done and no annoying political squabbles to interfere with it.

One small point…those on the other side of the ‘peace wall’ can do the same thing.