A wee tiff and a matter of perspective

SO the year draws to a close and at this time the thorny matter of devolution of policing and justice still manages to cause a prickly atmosphere between the First and deputy First Ministers.

Viewers were treated to a double act of awkwardness when Robbo and Marty faced the cameras after the North South Ministerial Council meeting in Limavady this week.

And then…ahhhhh it’s all too boring to rehash the episode again; you all know the arguments and the name calling and the so-called issues.

But it seems that we all need a sense of perspective now and again.

The issue has become so perplexing that Gordon Brown and Brian Cowen took time out of the Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen to discuss the matter.

Yep, the future of planet Earth’s eco-system and the plight of nations across the globe up for discussion; the challenges of agreeing sustainable development and the two premiers had to speak on the devolution of policing and justice for a region with a population of just short of 1.8m.

When the ice caps melt, when Strangford Lough rises to consume Newtownards, when the entire county of Fermanagh becomes a water theme park and Newry canal becomes a route for cruise liners, our grandchildren will not be asking what our generation did to combat global warming. No they’ll be asking whether policing and justice will ever be devolved.

We’re all doomed….again

THE game is up: we’re all doomed to another week of brinkmanship, party political waffling and general messing about with MLAs again indulging in incessant posturing over policing and justice.

Yep, Sinn Féin are flapping with veiled threats over the future of the Assembly, the DUP are pouting and no-one wants to blink first.

And the first nominations are in for Justice Minister. First to declare has been the SDLP who have put leadership candidate and Social Development Minister Margaret Ritchie into the running.

Rumours have also been circulating round the Big House that if the Ulster Unionists put a name forward for the job, deputy leader Danny Kennedy will be that name.

But, in a surprise turn of events the Alliance Party have said that David Ford will only accept a nomination if certain pre-conditions are fulfilled!

The descent into farce couldn’t be more carelessly plotted. Sinn Féin want a Christmas pressie; the DUP want community confidence, but seem to change what that means every few days or so; the SDLP and possibly the UUP are putting names forward that won’t get cross-community backing; and now Alliance have a shopping list…

The only way to solve this is through a community restorative justice scheme. Each MLA will have to face the voters in their constituency and the voters will be able to explain to the MLAs how much hurt and anguish the issue is causing them…and insist, nay, demand that they all get off the radio and stop spouting on about it, until such times that they are ready to play nice.

Need we remind them all that Santa is currently scribbling names on to his naughty and nice lists, so MLAs, you better be good for goodness sake.

Peerless performance

WHEN it comes to the House of Lords, casual viewers may have assumed that it is a serene haven amidst the hurly burly of the Westminster village; a place where Lords and Ladies can contemplate, seated on their padded benches, the whys and wherefores of government and maybe catch a wee doze after lunch.

Who could have guessed that it was a competitive pit where government representatives are hauled to answer question upon question upon question.

Actually it is a fairly serene place, but one Lord has been laying down a storm of questions.
Step forward the UUP’s Lord Laird who has asked hundreds of questions and even made it to the chamber for 145 days.

Nevertheless, such frenetic activity comes with a price tag. Lord Laird claimed 73,000 of the best British pounds sterling in expenses.

His rebuttal to those that challenge these costs: “People want to be represented in Parliament and that’s what I do”.

While Lord Laird prepares to ask another question or six, it also emerged what our Lords can claim for. Each Lord (or Lady) can claim £86.50 for daytime expenses such as meals when attending a sitting in the Lords. That’s a lot of chow, no wonder we see them dozing of an afternoon!

Pay now and pay later

YEP budgets were all the talk of the town. You know the feeling, it’s coming up to Christmas, the kids want the new toys, but you have to cost out the price of the a Nintendo Wii or Playstation 3 against whether the family will be able to eat in January….oh you were thinking of the other budgets?

Well that’s all right then. Here we were thinking you were thinking of taking out a new credit card as you’ve maxed out that other credit card and are up to your overdraft limit. Should your bank manager query this tactic, explain in small words of no more than two syllables…if it’s good enough for Government its good enough for me. Please don’t throw in a jibe about how as a taxpayer you own a stake in the bank, they get all huffy and start mumbling about bonuses.

The Pre-Budget Report came along with a confusing welter of give and take, some things you get now but won’t get in two years time, some things that might help, and some things that won’t. And the reassurance that all will be well as the money markets are still giving the UK a Triple A rating on creditworthiness. Isn’t that how the average punter got into a mess in the first place? Up to your eyes in debt? Just get another loan….but that’s where we started from.

To sort it all out get two economists in a room. The middle ground of where they disagree is right about where the answer may lie!

Sammy says sort it!

THE Northern Ireland Executive’s very own ‘A’ level economics expert, Sammy Wilson (well he was chief tester with the CCEA) has warned that even though we didn’t get the economic kicking from the Treasury that was feared we all need to be prepared for tough times ahead.

As if things weren’t tough enough as it is, Sammy warned his Executive colleagues that the coming 2010 Budget and spending review will mean that he as Finance minister will be demanding that belts are tightened, and there will be cuts…sorry efficiency savings.

Oh, let us take a wild guess here…there will be a row between the DUP and the UUP over the health budget in 2010.

Crisis? What crisis?

THE ever more Monty Pythonesque ramblings of the political classes on the issue of policing and justice has moved towards what could be real rumbles of crisis – mutterings of elections and rumours of war on the stump.

And to add to the confusion, MLAs have been asked to name who they would want as our Justice Minister.

To summarise: Sinn Féin wants the devolution of policing and justice as a wee Christmas present. The DUP are saying ‘no way’ - policing and justice isn’t just for Christmas. They want greater community confidence and the Parade’s Commission emasculated, or something like that.

Meanwhile, the various spokespeople from both parties have been contributing to global warming – thanks to the amount of hot air they’ve been generating on the airwaves. Once in a while the other political parties manage to get a word in edgeways too!

So we are left with the deputy First Minister saying power-sharing is unsustainable and saying that a ‘full-blown crisis’ is on the way if a deal isn’t sorted.

Cheerful chappy Secretary of State Shaun Woodward threw his hat into the ring by saying that all was well, the Justice Bill was en route to Royal Assent and that in coming weeks it would all work out.

Here’s a cunning plan that will save the DUP blushes and get Sinn Féin out of its pre-Christmas bind…Announce the devolution on Christmas Eve at about 11pm, both parties take no phone calls until well into January and on about the 15th or 16th say that Jim Allister is to be the new Parade’s Commissioner.

Speaking of Jim…

WELL we know you weren’t, but a few BBC insiders are beginning to ask why Jim is getting so much airtime. He holds no mandate any more, yet seems to be on the Nolan Show and other outlets every time a show needs someone to wind up the audience. Should he be treated like another member of the public and not be called seeking comment. Then again he is the leader of a political party…of sorts.

Now there’s a word we haven’t heard for a while…

GERRYMANDERING – a word that has been absent from our political lexicon for a while now has made a return.

Sinn Féin has accused Environment Minister, Edwin Poots of trying to gerrymander local government boundaries under the Review of Public Administration.

The Minister says that if Sinn Féin doesn’t sign off on the new councils there may be trouble ahead.

The 26 councils into 11 model has been on the table for a while now, the Minister has cried wolf a few times, as have the Shinners on this issue.

But compared to policing and justice, they have in theory until 2011 to sort this out…loads of time!

Get out clause

MLAs were reluctant to set their own pay increase…so let someone else do the job.

Within 24 hours of deciding not to debate a suggested £7,000 pay hike per MLA, the House of Lords was considering the Northern Ireland Assembly Members Bill, which would give the Assembly the option to pass off salary consideration to an independent body.

Smooth move! Should they appoint such an independent body, MLAs could then say that any pay hike was set by someone else…hands clean etc.

But, was it a coincidence that this week it emerged that some civil servants get paid more than Ministers sitting in the Northern Ireland Executive.

Howls of indignation were rather muted from MLAs. Perhaps this was because they realised that the civil servants were actually required to do some work…and they have to put up with Ministers. Surely that’s deserving of a good pay packet!

Mr Popular

TURNS out that Sinn Féin ministers are rated as being impressive. In a poll hosted by a local snoozepaper Martin McGuinness scored a 27 per cent rating, a full 20 percentage points ahead of his OFMdFM mate Peter Robinson.

In fact his closest contender in the ‘impressive rating scale’ was party colleague Michelle Gildernew (10%) with the DUP’s Arlene Foster coming in third (9%).

But the really revealing statistic from the poll was that one in 10 of respondents when asked which Minister has impressed them said none of them.

In other words ten per cent thinks our hard working Executive isn’t very impressive after all. One can but wonder how they came to that conclusion!