And then there’s Sylvia…

Sylvia could stand
as an independent

LADY Hermon is playing coy about her intentions in the forthcoming election. Will she or won’t she stand as an independent unionist? From her hints this week, it seems almost certain that she will.


Which, one might have thought would cause consternation within the ranks of the Ulster Unionists and their partners, the Conservatives. But as this has been talked about endlessly with the interviews becoming all too predictable.


They usually run along the lines of:


“Sir Reg…what’s the score with Sylvia?”
“2 - 1, but that away goal counts a lot in the second leg”
“No Sir Reg, we meant Sylvia Hermon not CSK Sofia!”
“Oh, that Sylvia! Nice lady!”
“Will she be a UUP candidate”
“Doubt it”
“So you’re prepared to lose an MP, as she will certainly win.”
“So what? We’ve got Mike Nesbitt and Freddie Mercury.”
“Don’t you mean Flash Harry? Freddie is dead?”
“Close enough!”
“So no Lady Hermon in the UUP camp then?”
“Looks that way, but please remember that she can’t sing the entire Queen back catalogue and don’t you know that we in the UUP always back Queen…err I mean The Queen!”
“What about the other constituencies?”
“I’ll get back to you on that one!”

Don’t Panic!

Elections are coming

EMBLAZZONED on the cover of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and uttered by Corporal Jones in Dad’s Army, let’s all say it…Don’t Panic! After all, it’s only an election.


Yes, dust down your ear protectors because our political candidates are warming up the megaphones; ready to blast the airwaves and your sensibilities, leaving most voters to decide which shade of green or orange they want to vote for…or so it has always been.


Of course, Sir Reg wants us all to think that he and his mates in the Conservative Party are offering us access to national politics and a say in the policies of the next government of the UK, which will be orange with a hint of blue…or orange going off in the fruit basket.


And those nice yellow-coloured chappies in the Alliance Party want to remind us all that they offer a middle road, one which leads to David becoming Justice Minister. Or as one wag said…becoming complicit in the Executive’s injustice system.