Well off – that’ll be a political party then

POLITICS is a business: not just about getting business, but about the necessity of keeping the books balanced and bringing in the money to fund all those pesky election campaigns.

This week, the Electoral Commission published the budgets of Northern Ireland’s political parties.

Last year, Sinn Féin raked in the most money (more than £1.1m) but spent more than that. The DUP raised £348,191 and spent £480,158. The SDLP's income was £398,829 but it spent £499,583.

The UUP spent £357,430 but took in £392,868, making them the only party to return books that were in the ‘black’.

Which, given the figure for all the parties, begs the question - just how much do those election posters actually cost? And what does it cost to send all those leaflets to reach their ultimate destination, the recycling bin?

Let’s all be nice to each other

IN another remarkable decision to actually do a wee bit of work the DUP, Sinn Féin power axis managed to finally publish the public consultation on its Programme for Cohesion, Sharing and Integration.

However, one must be careful to actually see this as a Government proposal.

One might suspect that there is a consensual programme of activity around the massive cabinet table that has 16 Ministers making up a Government of sorts.

But this, like the many other things that occasionally come forward around touchy topics such as the Maze is in reality a proposal by the de facto Government of DUP and Sinn Féin.

The other parties in the coalition of unequals, carp about any decision that DUP and Sinn Féin make, with the best that can ever be hoped for ‘a guarded welcome’.

This could cause one to become cynical, but then again there be an election ahead for the Assembly, not to mention the forthcoming UUP leadership contest.

Would it be too much to hope for that once next year’s elections are concluded, everyone will just get along, get some work done, and come up with actual decisions? Probably too much to hope for, but as Jon Bon Jovi said, if you’re living on a prayer, you’re halfway there…

Agreement…what’s that again?

IT seems quite remarkable that the political classes ever agreed about anything apart from expenses, let alone the constitutional future of Northern Ireland.

To judge the levels of disagreement one only needs to look at the responses to the Eames Bradley report – otherwise known as the report from the Consultative Group on the Past.

This week the responses were published to the 31 proposals from the report which was completed in January last year.

While almost everyone disagreed with the reports recommendations, their alternatives vary so widely that it seems that the ‘past’ is a country where we will never visit at the same time, or with the same intent.

The ‘Legacy Commission’ proposed in the Eames Bradley report is so variously interpreted that it is easy to assume that no-one really has a clue about what to do, nor are they prepared to ‘walk a mile’ in their political rivals shoes.

Therefore, with no realistic chance of such a ‘commission’ being created anytime soon, there is one simple proposal that should sort things out: appoint Billy Connolly, Russell Brand, Eddie Izzard, Ed Byrne, and Frankie Boyle to investigate the ‘Troubles’. Anything else would be seen as just having a laugh.

Going green...we don’t think so!

SEEMINGLY a long time ago, when he was Environment Minister, Sammy Wilson had a wee hissy fit about whether human actions could affect climate change.

Now, it seems that the watchdog that was intended to make sure the Northern Ireland Executive kept to its sustainability targets is to be wound up.

UK-wide cuts mean that the Sustainable Development Commission may close its doors soon. The Northern Ireland branch is part-funded by the UK Government and part funded by the Office of First Minister and deputy First Minister.

The only lifeline for the commission appears to be if the Northern Ireland side of the funding equation increases its investment. Given that Minister Wilson now holds the purse strings that might be a difficult sell.

While the Executive ponders this potential cut, it is worth looking at what happens if the Commission is wound up. Then the only body keeping track of whether we are keeping our environmental and sustainable promises will be in Europe. And errr… they tend to impose fines when we don’t.

Talking rubbish

THERE is a wee bit of a NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) culture amongst the Northern Ireland political classes.

The latest NIMBY example is concerning waste incineration.

Anyone who looks at the total rubbish and waste we fail to recycle in Northern Ireland, and that which can’t be recycled, will realise that we need to do something with it.

Given that using Lough Neagh as a superdump is a no-go, as was devoting vast swathes of South Armagh to legalise illegal dumping, means another solution had to be found.

First up for a waste incineration site was on the north foreshore of Belfast Lough. That was quickly shot down. The next up is a site just to the north of Belfast, but within Antrim Borough Council’s boundaries.

Ulster Unionist MLA, Danny Kinahan has called for clarity from Environment Minister, Edwin Poots on what exactly are the pros and cons of waste incineration.

This, of course, is what could be the first shot in a bout of NIMBY politics, but we’ll give Mr Kinahan the benefit of the doubt.

And, we should perhaps ask all politicians to think before opening their mouth to change feet. Do they wish to critically analyse the evidence for any proposal? Or do they want to pander to the gallery?

Here’s the scenarios: your local hospital is closing a department because of lack of trained and trainee staff. Do you (a) examine reports from Royal Colleges and medical experts, or (b) start painting a banner and join a picket. In ‘Scenario Two: A waste incineration site is to replace a landfill. Do you (a) spend a wee bit of time looking at scientific and engineering research, reports and evidence, or (b) start painting a banner and join a picket.

Option (a) takes a wee bit too much time out of an MLA’s hectic diary. And, given that we are already all thinking about the forthcoming election, well it will have to be option (b) then!

Not enough parties

IT seems that we currently don’t have enough political parties in Northern Ireland.

This became clear a couple of years back when the Tories arrived, albeit linking up with the UUP.

Still the feeling persisted to nag at political commentators that we simply don’t have enough political parties.

But, don’t fret, there is another one joining the fray! Fianna Fail has turned up with a new office in Crossmaglen. Okay, if you live in Northern Ireland you can’t technically vote for Fianna Fail, but hey it’s the thought that counts.

And, I’m sure that Margaret Ritchie was only kidding when she said that there would be no merger between the SDLP and Fianna Fail ‘on her watch’.

Politics in Northern Ireland – what we really need is not yet more mergers, link ups and new political parties: what we need is an all-night party!

Welcome to our nightmare

WE recently had a horrible nightmare – of struggling amidst sheets that tangle the legs, with a shadowy silhouette flicking across the curtains and the flare of burnt cars skittering through our troubled sleep.

Then we awoke – sadly it wasn’t a dream delivered by the ghost of Julys past.

The annual Twelfth riot/march/Orangefest/protest got underway with civil disturbances adorned by PSNI in full body armour and masked rioters.

The political reaction? Confused, garbled and with loads of commentary from those who should have known better.

First we had the First Minister Peter Robinson bristling at comments from a PSNI senior officer, who had the audacity – nah the cheek – to suggest that there needed to be better community leadership from politicians.

One could be forgiven for thinking that the First Minister reacted as if the police officers comments were a personal attack on him and his party colleagues. Did he sense an implicit criticism? Or was this a unique sign of political paranoia given elections are less than a year away.

Party colleague Lord Morrow, among others, criticised the police for not making more arrests and clamping down on the rioters in Ardoyne and other areas.

We, of course, do not know the experience Lord Morrow has or has not had of front line policing in north Belfast, or other interface areas. Nor do we know whether he has experience, or not, of making command decisions in a rapidly changing civil disturbance situation.

Which, makes it all the more ironic that Sinn Féin were commending, at times, the police, and pointing out that if someone breaks the law the police will, and should, be making arrests as appropriate when evidence is available.

Now, there have been those – who take the internet as a platform for making comments without engaging brain – who have said that Sinn Féin were impotent in the face of the riots.

However, so long as we in Northern Ireland are governed by a democracy – a democracy that establishes the right to govern by a mandate expressed at the electoral booth – we can judge that those who rioted, and those who encouraged others to riot do not have that mandate.

Ardoyne wards in the recent general election and recent European and Assembly elections singularly failed to either have representatives stand or representatives elected from any of the so-called dissident groups.

Which leads us to the conclusion that either there is a massive, untapped group that feels disenfranchised; or the couple of hundred rioters across Northern Ireland represent nothing other than a shade of a fraction of the people who every day get on with their lives, try to make a better future and try to achieve their political goals through the ballot box.

The ghost of Julys to come, we expect to visit us shortly. Its message will, we suspect, be that the dissidents of the republican side and the naysayers of the loyalist fringes will not be coming close to any successful political achievements at the doors of Stormont, Westminster or any venue where they have to explain their reasoning in anything more than a grunt of ‘no’ or the throwing of a petrol bomb.

That would be a parade then?

IT was not without a sense of the absurd that the consultation on a new body to replace the Parade’s Commission ended at a time when there were riots ostensibly about parades.

Said consultation ended with the Orange Order in a huff and rioters saying it was everybody’s fault except theirs for rioting.

Forgive us for being naïve, but we want to be clear on all this.

The Orange Order said the Parade’s Commission had to go. The reaction of some members of the Grand Lodge was yes, but no, but yes, but perhaps no to that new thingymabob that the DUP and Sinn Féin cooked up.

All rounded up with a maybe and we’ll see what else comes up and various slabbering on radio phone-ins.

And the feeder parade was allowed to pass the Ardoyne shops, but the Drumcree parade still got a no way!

The men and women happy to see children put in the front line of riots may, or may not have submitted a response to the consultation. But is seems that parades may have not been their first concern, otherwise the notion that civil disorder was about parades may have seen said civil disorder come to an end when the Twelfth had concluded.

Although it has to be said that the Belfast, Dublin train had to be stopped as it hadn’t the approval from the Parade’s Commission, and although it was using a traditional route, it was one that rioters felt compelled to stop…Parades Commission ruling notwithstanding

So, we think we’re clear now – The Orange Order isn’t sure what it wants, and the rioters are pretty sure they want; a riot but not too sure what the riot is about…

We’re all doomed: Chapter 42

ONE suspects that there is a secret plan to have the dark clouds of despair gathered ready to descend, before Finance Ministers and the Chancellor emerge in October to tell us all it isn’t as bad as we thought.

Once again, this week the men with the calculators and their Ministerial masters met in London to discuss budge cuts ahead of the October Spending Review.

And once again Minister for Finance and Personnel, Sammy Wilson reminded us of the cuts we’re to face and the fact that there may be a lot more in coming years.

This constant repetition of the message of doom is beginning to grate on the nerves. Does Sammy – and his partners across the land – need to constantly remind us of the situation lest we forget for a moment?

Or is this all about softening us up for the introduction of water charges with the implicit message that if we pay more bills we won’t have as many cuts….

Will we see the DUP ministerial team force through a plan which will see householders pay more to government for a service (sounds like a tax…) which will be used to make sure some public services are protected…

We eagerly await the conclusion to this “We’re All Doomed” story to be entitled: “The Blame Game – it wasn’t us what done it guvnor, but you’ll pick up the tab anyways”.

UK City of Culchies…sorry Culture

CONGRATUVERYMUCHWELLDONEHEY to Stroke City – living proof that several hundreds years of fighting, bickering, sieges, riots, and crimes against language and fashion can have an endgame after all.

We raise a glass to the Maiden City, and wish each and every resident the very best as they get down to preparations as the City of Culture 2013.

And we’ve figured out where the several hundred jobs that are to emerge are to come from: employing translators to help clarify what residents of Stroke City are saying when commenting on each and every aspect of what culture means on the banks of the Foyle.